PAD 7: Not A Baseball Poem

Jackson's team didn't win today, but almost, it was very close. He made a diving catch behind first base and dropped the ball, even though everyone thought he had caught it, even the umpire. Your son has a problem with honesty, said another parent, which I guess is true since he told the umpire he dropped the ball and the runner was safe. We all laughed, even Jackson, who takes these games so lightly, I wish he took his life lightly, too, the anxieties of his adolescence creep up around him day and night.

Today's poem starts with baseball and ends with pregnancy. I'm grieving for Stella who is separating from me so easily, and I am realizing that after my life of keeping my distance, of holding my mind separate from her, she is going to leave for real very soon, just as I am learning to love her with my mind as well as my heart.

(Suddenly) The Doe

After Jackson’s baseball jersey, number 10,
dries, the Gatorade splots, ketchup smeary and
grass-stained dirt scrubbed out quickly in cold
water, I open the front door to move
back against the house my pink folding chair,
on which I had dried it, actually on which
it lay while the April sun dried the damp
places, and step into the yard, and there
see her leap up, too awkward to leap
quickly, it’s more of a slosh and heave,
like a dinghy too heavily laden with
children in life jackets, the bag full of lunches,
and the blanket, soft blue and oyster shell plaid
I remember from my childhood, bumping
against the side of the bigger boat as the last
kid steps in, and he falls into his seat, as
the little boat soon turns and lumbers away
toward the beach, an up stumble onto her sharp
small black hooves, butt and tail caught in old
holly, before she backs off and escapes through
torn chicken wire and falling fencing, long
ineffective again her and others of her
kind, brown deer who continue to thrive
at the edge of the city of Cupertino in
shady garden corners, like this one
where she rested until I came, with her
burden in her brown belly, with my clean clothes.

I think it might be fun to write a whole sequence of poems, in which the word 'suddenly' never appears, but which describe a series of events that do happen that quickly, in a present that doesn't really exist, between the series of moments that are either the past the past the past or the future the future the future.